There are two ways to experience power in the world. The first comes from an external source and is unstable. The second comes from within and is stable.
When your source of power is external, you derive your sense of superiority from the people around you. You gain a sense of value by bringing others down, an urge to dominate.
Then there is another kind of power, one that comes from within. If you pay attention, you may notice that when you are in the presence of certain people, you feel more powerful yourself. Their presence doesn't make you feel smaller or less valuable. Instead, you feel more connected to your own power.
The difference lies in the source. In the first case, your sense of power depends on how you stand in relation to others. In the second, it comes from within you.
Consider a hostage-taker. They exercise power by taking control of their surroundings, creating a situation in which people have to listen to their demands. Their control is real, but the sense of superiority they derive from it depends on the environment they have created. This sense of superiority gives them the illusion of power.
Now imagine negotiators begin to establish a connection with the hostage-taker and close the psychological distance between them. As this distance closes, the hostage-taker's idea of power begins to diminish.
There is another problem with relying on an external source of power: you have to keep protecting it.
Perhaps one day, you use your voice to pull someone down, and you feel powerful. You may not understand the concept behind what you are doing, but you begin to recognise the behaviour. Whenever someone around you feels weaker, you feel more powerful.
Over time, this becomes your way of accumulating energy. You begin to associate making others feel smaller with feeling more valuable yourself.
In unawareness, this is where the intent of domination begins to take shape.
You no longer dominate only when a situation calls for it. You begin to need domination to maintain your sense of value. Whether it is a conversation, a relationship, a workplace, or a disagreement, you look for ways to establish your superiority.
Your sense of value becomes attached to how you stand in comparison to others. And because this source of power is comparative in nature, it remains fragile. Someone else's confidence can challenge it. Someone else's success can threaten it. Someone else's refusal to submit can leave you feeling powerless.
You end up protecting a sense of value that was never truly independent of your surroundings.
When you sit alone in silence, in an uneventful setting, can you still feel sense of energy?
Or do you need to manage your surroundings and the people around you in a certain way to access that feeling of power? Do you need others to respond to you in a particular way, acknowledge your authority, or appear less powerful than you to feel valuable yourself?
Which setup works best for you? Under which circumstances do you feel your best?
Answer these questions honestly, and you may begin to recognise which source of power you are relying on.
When your power comes from within, your sense of value doesn't need to be established through comparison. You don't have to make someone else feel smaller to feel powerful yourself. You can recognise your own value without constantly having to prove it.
But when you depend on a fragile external source of power, doubts inevitably arise. Doubts about your work, your leadership, your relationships, and your own value.
When your sense of value depends on maintaining superiority, situations in which you cannot dominate can begin to feel like threats to your worth. Sometimes, this can lead you to take extreme measures to protect that sense of value.
But these doubts can also serve a purpose when you recognise them and look beyond them. They can help you question the source of your power and examine what you have come to accept as the foundation of your worth.
Perhaps this is where the real work begins: not in finding more ways to establish your power over the world around you, but in understanding the source from which you draw it.
Because when you have access to the genuine energy within you, you no longer need a façade of superiority to feel valuable. You can begin to experience your own power through clarity, through a stable sense of self, and through the willingness to question what you have always believed to be true.
When your source of power is external, you derive your sense of superiority from the people around you. You gain a sense of value by bringing others down, an urge to dominate.
Then there is another kind of power, one that comes from within. If you pay attention, you may notice that when you are in the presence of certain people, you feel more powerful yourself. Their presence doesn't make you feel smaller or less valuable. Instead, you feel more connected to your own power.
The difference lies in the source. In the first case, your sense of power depends on how you stand in relation to others. In the second, it comes from within you.
Consider a hostage-taker. They exercise power by taking control of their surroundings, creating a situation in which people have to listen to their demands. Their control is real, but the sense of superiority they derive from it depends on the environment they have created. This sense of superiority gives them the illusion of power.
Now imagine negotiators begin to establish a connection with the hostage-taker and close the psychological distance between them. As this distance closes, the hostage-taker's idea of power begins to diminish.
There is another problem with relying on an external source of power: you have to keep protecting it.
Perhaps one day, you use your voice to pull someone down, and you feel powerful. You may not understand the concept behind what you are doing, but you begin to recognise the behaviour. Whenever someone around you feels weaker, you feel more powerful.
Over time, this becomes your way of accumulating energy. You begin to associate making others feel smaller with feeling more valuable yourself.
In unawareness, this is where the intent of domination begins to take shape.
You no longer dominate only when a situation calls for it. You begin to need domination to maintain your sense of value. Whether it is a conversation, a relationship, a workplace, or a disagreement, you look for ways to establish your superiority.
Your sense of value becomes attached to how you stand in comparison to others. And because this source of power is comparative in nature, it remains fragile. Someone else's confidence can challenge it. Someone else's success can threaten it. Someone else's refusal to submit can leave you feeling powerless.
You end up protecting a sense of value that was never truly independent of your surroundings.
The True Source of Power Within
How do you know whether your power comes from within or whether you are depending on your surroundings to experience it?When you sit alone in silence, in an uneventful setting, can you still feel sense of energy?
Or do you need to manage your surroundings and the people around you in a certain way to access that feeling of power? Do you need others to respond to you in a particular way, acknowledge your authority, or appear less powerful than you to feel valuable yourself?
Which setup works best for you? Under which circumstances do you feel your best?
Answer these questions honestly, and you may begin to recognise which source of power you are relying on.
When your power comes from within, your sense of value doesn't need to be established through comparison. You don't have to make someone else feel smaller to feel powerful yourself. You can recognise your own value without constantly having to prove it.
But when you depend on a fragile external source of power, doubts inevitably arise. Doubts about your work, your leadership, your relationships, and your own value.
When your sense of value depends on maintaining superiority, situations in which you cannot dominate can begin to feel like threats to your worth. Sometimes, this can lead you to take extreme measures to protect that sense of value.
But these doubts can also serve a purpose when you recognise them and look beyond them. They can help you question the source of your power and examine what you have come to accept as the foundation of your worth.
Perhaps this is where the real work begins: not in finding more ways to establish your power over the world around you, but in understanding the source from which you draw it.
Because when you have access to the genuine energy within you, you no longer need a façade of superiority to feel valuable. You can begin to experience your own power through clarity, through a stable sense of self, and through the willingness to question what you have always believed to be true.
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